Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
