the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
