I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
