I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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