So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
