i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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