Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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