Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?

(937): View more from Ohio

Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.

(419): View more from Ohio

Is that considered a cock block?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.

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(760): View more from California

He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.

(619): View more from California

he what???

(760): View more from California

Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him

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(847): View more from Illinois

why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.

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