Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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