So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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