I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
