OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
