i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
