My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
