You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
