i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
