Did you just see the Batmobile???
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
