Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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