It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
