You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize