Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
