i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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