i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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