Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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