dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this just has baby written all over it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
