all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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