i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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