I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
