we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize