I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
