i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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