is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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