Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
smell my finger.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
