I want to have your abortion
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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