if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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