Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
