Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
