return my video game
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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