As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize