Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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