I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
