I can text with my tongue
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
