I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
