your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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