arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
