No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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