too bad you live with your parents still
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
