I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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