...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
