note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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