weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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