Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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