People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
