yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
