i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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