Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
