i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
