Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
