she was so not down for the gang bang
what day is it and did you see me today?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
